As alike as they are, they are like yin and yang.
I call it the rule of twins. If one is screaming, the other is calm. If one is focused on a task, the other is distracted. If one is hysterical, the other is nonplussed.
I commented recently on a picture posted by a fellow twin mommy blogger where one twin is posing eagerly in the seat of a firetruck and the other is watching tentatively, and inadvertently reflected in the side of the firetruck.
Twins are constantly being labeled based on characteristics, actions and perceived talents or skills of their twin. If one twin is social or talkative, the other must be shy and reticent. One simply must be "the outgoing twin" or "the spirited twin". Non-twins are rarely branded so impetuously.
Out of all demographics, female identical twins have the highest incidence of eating disorders. Why? Because they are always being compared. Even a seemingly benign comment like "she's the bigger twin" (meaning taller) when heard hundreds of times throughout their lifetime grows like Cancer in a young woman's fragile self-image.
I took a recent video that illustrates their differences perfectly. Tristyn is engrossed in her play dough creations, and then Jaeda comes streaking through the room to announce that she wants to be a Ballerina! Then scampers off...
There I go. Comparing them again.
I've heard that twins will "split the difference" for developmental milestones, but that seems too convenient to me. It is certainly the case with my girls - if you want to view it that way...
The bottom line is that all children exhibit different characteristics from day to day and month to month, and twins (identical or fraternal) are often unfairly labeled.
Even by those of us who know them best. :-/
*Thanks to Kim Hayes for the use of this photograph
My cousin has twins; she schooled me on this early on. And it's true, we do want to compare, even with non-twin sibs, not always so helpful. right? (that eating disorder statistic is a frightening illustration)
ReplyDelete