Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I'm a listmaker. It calms my mind and organizes my thoughts. One of my college roommates still jokes about my obsessive list making, even though we haven't lived together for 14 years.

I found the whiteboard that was posted by the door with a list of items I needed to remember in order to leave the house with my two infants. I know there are moms of twins, and single children, that don't leave the house to avoid the trouble, but for me, it was a necessity. A fellow twin mommy blogger once wrote that staying at home all day with twinfants is the fastest road to crazy, a sentiment that I embraced, despite the difficulties of leaving the house between naps, feeding schedules and diaper changes!

It seems unbelievable to me now, that even in the depths of post partum depression I was able to muster the wherewithal to leave the house with two premature infants. Some days pouring water into the espresso machine felt overwhelming. Perhaps I rationed my atrophied energy after keeping my offspring nourished and safe towards maintaining my own sanity. 

What is interesting about this whiteboard is that before it was swallowed by one of my lists, it served as a coaching board for our co-ed ice hockey team (note the red circle remnants). My husband still plays, I don't. But that's another post entirely...

For some reason, it's been difficult for me to simply wipe away those green letters, and all the struggles of the first year with twinfants. Despite the fact that they were some of the most difficult months of my life, somehow I feel the need to preserve this simple reminder of a herculean task.  

My best friend tells me that I am the least nostalgic person she knows. I don't save cards or memorabilia from significant events in my life - not even my own wedding. So why then, would I need to document this item that represents such a tumultuous time? I know that the answer lies deep in the paradoxical human psyche, the labyrinth of our minds that reminds us what we've been through and propels us forward.


  1. I am touched that you documented that list. A piece of personal history no doubt. (twinfants!)
    When we moved to sea level for ten months and packed up our entire house and put everything we'd need in two vehicles, we had a lot of lists and butcher paper calendars. I took a picture knowing someday it wold boggle my mind and make me smile, knowing what we did for our boy.

  2. just cracked up over your comment on All and Sundry - you're totally right!

  3. I am unsentimental as well. I commented upon this with P. last week when he was filming the boys' art work, brought home almost daily from daycare...I spent an hour with my camera a few months ago trying to deal with a pile of art that had come home but not really knowing what I would do even with these pictures. I was trying to be sentimental because others are??? I ended up recycling this pile all after. I have the pictures digitized but what do I do with these? Of course I appreciate it when the boys proudly hand their creations to me and exclaim, "How wonderful! I really like the read, green and yellow stickers you put on this air plane!" Both boys don't have the patience to not destroy their artistic endeavors gleefully chanting, "Rip it, rip it!" I don't feel bad about recycling until they show some sentiment.


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