Division of Labor

I don't often mention my husband in my posts. It's not that he's not here - it's just challenging to see him between our double work week, overlapping sleep schedules, household obligations, childcare pick-up and drop-off, and the fuss muss of raising children. And it's difficult to speak to him over the cacophonous squeals and incessant, outlandish demands of two toddlers. Nevertheless, I've had the thrill and honor of watching him morph into an exquisite father.  

My husband and I have always been superb partners - balancing one another like yin and yang. There's no drama. When one of us is anxious, the other is the voice of reason. And that has carried us well into parenthood.

Apparently, parents of multiples have a higher rate of divorce. My hubby and I were the couple that would shock friends, family and acquaintances by joking about renewing the "contract" of marriage from year to year. However, when a child (children, as it were) was discussed, we knew we'd be re-upping for 18+ years. We both come from divorced families and that strengthened our desire to remain intact. (That, of course, remains to be seen). But each milestone represents a victory. The first year of marriage, the settling into a new house, neighborhood and joint schedule and then the shock, confusion and stress of unexpectedly expecting twins.

pre-children, at "The Office" in Cabo

We are the type of couple that embrace our individuality, but come together as a family when it counts. For as many vacations as we take together, we take separately. We're like two helium balloons that seek their own path, but ultimately end up huddled together in the same corner.

We've always divided the chores around the house. But having children adds a whole other dimension that reaches into all aspects of life. First it was the night-time feedings; he calmly negotiated the 3AM, while I did the 11PM and 7AM. When the girls refused to sleep, we would each take a twin - me in the guest room, he in our bedroom - then compare notes in the morning. We alternate bedtime duties. Our house is like a factory, where my husband and I run the gamut of duties. I'm accounting and janitorial, he is maintenance and operations. We both do production and each have an unskilled apprentice that creates more work for us.

It's a revolving door of trade offs - I'll take the girls to the store if you clean the kitchen. I'll sleep in Saturday and you sleep in Sunday. It's all about b a l a n c e.

We must have set the proper tone on our wedding invitation with this quote: "Marriage is an intricate, intimate dance and nothing matters more than your sense of balance and your choice of partner." Well said.