Make that a double

Tonight, the mythical toddler that asks to be put to bed prior to bedtime visited our house. Dubious and somewhat half-heartedly, I brought the strange creature upstairs and went through the pre-bedtime motions, kissed her goodnight and proceeded back downstairs to conclude the evening rituals. Fully anticipating an impish voice to announce over the baby monitor that she was "All Done Sleepin'!", I hedged my bets and ensured that her twin wasn't stealthily creeping up the stairs to "play" (aka "Wake UP Sister!"). Ten minutes passed and the monitor glowed dutifully along with the lullaby CD, but no other sounds came from the room.

Now what? My other daughter napped on the way home and besides, it wouldn't be fair to put her within screaming distance of her sister. For almost three years, these two beings have bombarded our household (in duplicate) with screams, squeals, laughter and tears and it's an unfamiliar sensation when a single child holds my full attention.

I find myself cradling Jaeda lovingly in my arms as she munches on an apple and imagines the shapes it takes after each bite - a pineapple, a muffin, a lollipop, a....zebra? We chat about everything and nothing at all as she relishes having me all to herself, and vice versa. Guilt restricts me from this parental luxury. Even though my husband and I attempt to spend one-on-one time with each twin, it's rarely the mundane everyday lounge-around-the-house time.

Bedtime arrives and we clomp noisily up the stairs ("shhh, sister is sleeping", I remind her for the umpteenth time) for a bath. As I sit next to her attempting to focus on my book, I watch her solitary play as she brushes baby ducky's teeth (?) and it occurs to me why couples decide to have a second child - a strange realization for me because I never had that option; never had to contemplate giving my only child a sibling. That was pre-determined for me by fate.

As I place the covers over Jaeda and check on slumbering Tristyn, balance is restored in our twin household and all feels right again - they will wake in the morning as they always do, chatting to each other like bosom buddies, or barking at each other like bitter enemies.

"The universe balances its books"
-The Girl With No Shadow, Joanne Harris