Two For One

I never truly embraced the idea that I was meant to carry twins. Even though I've always been strong physically, with broad shoulders and muscular legs and arms, having two inside never felt quite right. And as far as I could tell, a successful multiple pregnancy didn't seem to be dependent on the stature of the mother.

These were before the days of Jon & Kate Plus Eight and before I knew how common twin births had become. I didn't know any mothers of twins - had never even thought of the challenges of a twin pregnancy, much less raising two babies simultaneously. So, the reality floored me to the point of extreme anxiety.

My dad told me while I was pregnant , "all you need is those babies in your arms", but I couldn't come to terms with the fact that I had more than one baby growing in my womb.

I asked people I barely knew to pray for the health of my babies - something unheard of for me, considering that my childhood was mostly devoid of religion, and as an adult I am spiritual at best. I had never attended church on my own accord, and perhaps only once or twice as a child.

I didn't have those peaceful moments in pregnancy where I would sit in repose and cradle my belly with a wistful look in my eyes. I had only worry and anxiety. How would I give birth to two babies?

My daughters were born on a Monday, just 15 hours after going into labor on Easter morning. People used to say "2 for the price of 1", but that labor was the only thing that felt that way - everything else seemed twice as hard.

In later years, I would tell people something that I wholeheartedly believe; infants are meant to come one at a time, the way nature intended. Fertility treatments notwithstanding, twins (and other multiples) were - and still are - a malfunction in the reproductive process.

My husband and I had only planned on having one child, so the "2 for 1" idea seemed like a cruel joke. It's like when you ask for chocolate ice cream and get strawberry; both are sweet and wonderful, but as with many things in life, it's all about expectations.